She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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