I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
