No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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