So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
