guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
