Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
