are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you win again, gameday.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
