Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
did i walk over a car last night?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
