I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
