I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
