Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize