the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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