The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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