i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize