Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize