I'm really into asian looking animals
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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