Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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