I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
