So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
