need another drink. this is the easiest way
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
