I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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