I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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