i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
