with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
