I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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