And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
