awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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