Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize