I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
