Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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