so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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