So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
