Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
