It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
