You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
