We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Even my vagina gasped.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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