So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
