12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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