**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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