After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
