You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
