fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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