chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
