i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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