I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
