You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
