I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
