Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?

(313): View more from Michigan

YES

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(563): View more from Iowa

I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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(480): View more from Arizona

my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion

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(914): View more from New York

i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.

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(647): View more from Ontario

She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

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(330): View more from Ohio

This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.

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(432): View more from Texas

Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.

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