guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
