You don't have asthma, your pregnant
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hope mine doesn't look like that
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
