I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
