i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
