I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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