Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Boobs speak an international language.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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