My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
