No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yo dont text me then not text me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
