i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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