He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
