im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
