i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize