she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
okay pat passed out under dana's car
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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