Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
