also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
