I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize