I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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