Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
