I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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