if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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