Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
