i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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