i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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