Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
