She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize