I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
And then he peed in my hair
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