come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
