absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
