Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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