remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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